History Does Not Reveal Its Alternatives

The title of this post is something my dad says frequently. It also is a good reminder for me. While this post is not strictly about Sam's condition, I've discussed it with much of the family and the thought is that it might be as helpful for everyone else. (Update on Sam coming from Cameron, I promise)

Ever since I was laying, staring at the E.R. ceiling, I have been "what-if-ing." What if I'd been able to get the car stopped, what if I didn't swerve as much, what if I had been able to get the wheels to "bite" and steer out of impact, what if I could have done better . . ..

Today I was able to see the car and visit the crash site. I will not post pictures of the car nor the scene, it won't help. But I can tell you that seeing it has created for me a whole new set of "whatifs." Not the "good" kind of whatifs, where I imagine how the accident could have been avoided, but the "bad" kind, where I see the very real danger we were in and how it could have been worse.

Please know this, somehow, inexplicably, the cable barrier broke rather than going over the top of the car, the car stayed straight and did not end up upside down and we did not get thrown back in to our own lane of traffic or the oncoming lane. All were very real possibilities and I think that Sam and I were not alone in the car on Sunday. Could it have been better? Maybe. Could it have been worse? Definitely. History does not reveal its alternatives.

-- Patton